Stop connecting in a way that makes us less than the sum of the parts
Connect as a Gestalt. Create something greater than the sum of our parts
In the 1990s, I was tasked with pinpointing the elements of human connection that could be effectively integrated into an innovative online collaboration platform known as Lotus Notes, as well as identifying those that could not.
I classified the forms of connection into two categories: measurable and immeasurable. The measurable connections are for aligning thoughts so that people connect by playing fixed parts in a fixed sum of the parts. These were moved online. The immeasurable connections could only be done face-to-face and involved creating something greater than the sum of the parts, a phenomenon known as *Gestalt*.
As the Internet and Google began to rise, I shifted to using my connection skills to assist struggling technology projects on the verge of failure.
After that, I dedicated my efforts to helping young individuals with Autism forge joyful connections. It appeared that the autistic brain recognized the presence of a Gestalt connection; they desired it and needed it, yet found it challenging to access. Teachers attempted to create pathways to a Gestalt, but the young people often interpreted these pathways as rigid parts to play within a fixed sum of the parts. As a result, the more they tried, the more they felt rejected. Consequently, I discovered how to offer an immersive experience of Gestalt. It turns out that young people with Autism can learn to connect to a Gestalt when they truly experience it.
I then spent 5 years working out why the connection best supported by technology has taken over face-to-face connection to the point we are now less than the sum of the parts.
When players commit to a plan that requires them to each fulfill a specific role within a fixed sum of parts, it becomes selfish to neglect the perfection of their individual contributions. Refusing to engage in their designated role disrespects the entire team. However, this approach can feel empty, hollow, and anxious because, as humans, we are prone to mistakes. We are not designed to connect as if we were machines. There will inevitably come a time when players struggle to perform their roles effectively, leading to the unraveling of the fixed sum of parts. In such moments, players may feel lost and out of control; they may overthink their actions, appear anxious, feel rushed, and make basic errors that are uncharacteristic of them. We don't resolve this issue by attempting to control players to make them more machine-like
We fix this by putting all attention onto the connections that only humans can have, only face-to-face. These are connections that create something greater than the sum of parts, a Gestalt. We observe one another’s actions, wait to see what happens, and then we step in to present a previously unseen alternative just as someone's option begins to diminish. This dynamic interaction cultivates a deep sense of connection, as we move into the unknown, believing we can accomplish anything together. We feel more human.
In sports and life, connection is as important as everything else put together. Practicing Gestalt is one of the most important life skills of the 21st century. But if we don’t keep practicing Gestalt, our technology-based connection will return us to connecting as though we are machines.
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SkillsofWow.org is the governing body for those who coach the skills of Wow.
