Let’s stop connecting in a way that makes us less than the sum of our parts
Let's connect as a Gestalt. Let's create something greater than the sum of our parts. Let's connect for more, not less.
In the 1990s, I was tasked with pinpointing the elements of human connection that could be effectively integrated into an innovative online collaboration platform known as Lotus Notes, as well as identifying those that could not.
I classified the forms of connection into two categories: measurable and immeasurable. The measurable connections are for agreeing on a sum of parts and allocating these parts for people to play. These were moved online. The immeasurable connections could only be done face-to-face and involved creating something greater than the sum of the parts, a phenomenon known as *Gestalt*.
As the Internet and Google began to rise, I shifted to using my connection skills to assist struggling technology projects on the verge of failure.
After that, I dedicated my efforts to helping young individuals with Autism forge joyful connections. It appeared that the autistic brain recognized the presence of a Gestalt connection; they desired it and needed it, yet found it challenging to access. Teachers attempted to create pathways to a Gestalt, but the young people often interpreted these pathways as rigid parts to play within a fixed sum of the parts. As a result, the more they tried, the more they felt rejected. Consequently, I discovered how to offer an immersive experience of Gestalt. It turns out that young people with Autism can learn to connect to a Gestalt when they truly experience it.
I then spent 6 years working out how technology-based connections appear to have taken over face-to-face connections.
Technology supports measurable connections for agreeing on a sum of parts and allocating these parts for people to play.
When players are asked to commit to a plan that involves fulfilling a specific part within a collective effort, it becomes selfish not to strive for perfection. It is disrespectful to decline an opportunity to play a part in helping others achieve a shared goal. It is natural for players to concentrate solely on executing their part flawlessly. In this way, each part becomes fixed in a fixed sum of parts. In this way, measurable technology-based connection removes the immeasurable connection that can only happen face-to-face.
Inevitably, there will be moments when the fixed sum of parts stops working.
During these instances, players who are dedicated to their fixed part feel disoriented and overwhelmed, and make fundamental mistakes that are not typical of their performance. The team becomes less than the sum of the parts.
Tackling this challenge isn't about making players execute their parts more efficiently. Instead, it involves fostering connections to create something greater than the sum of the parts, a Gestalt. Players observe one another’s actions, looking for opportunities to step in to provide a previously unseen alternative just as someone's option begins to diminish. This Gestalt of connection makes players more comfortable moving into the unknown, believing they can accomplish anything together.
In both sports and life, connection holds equal importance to all other aspects combined. Mastering Gestalt is one of the essential life skills in the 21st century. However, if we neglect to continually practice Gestalt, our reliance on technology will lead us back to playing fixed parts in a fixed sum of parts. We will find ourselves becoming less than the sum of our individual contributions.
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Come an play basketball to avoid thinking like AI
Thu 23 Oct
|Hemel Hempstead
We play to experience connections that can only be felt and never wholly measured. We create flowing relationships of movement that lead to layers of unfolding possibilities that reveal the optimum choice.
Time & Location
23 Oct 2025, 20:30 – 21:30
Hemel Hempstead, Hill Common, Hemel Hempstead HP3 8JH, UK
About the event
It is at Longdean Sports Centre. https://goo.gl/maps/
The entrance is not via Longdean school. There is a separate entrance that you can only find by just putting the post code in - HP3 8JH
- off Hill Common. The easiest way is to use “What3Words” and they are ///guard.forks.fries
The app - It is easier to book on using our app which you can get by going to your phone's app store, search for wix.com app called Spaces. Download. And then enter this code QTKFDS
Don't let a lack of money stop you from coming. We have free tickets. Contact jon.thorne@LifeSkills21.club you don't need to explain - He will just give you the code.
Tickets
Lets play ball
We are a social enterprise. We use all profits to give those who are excluded or vulnerable to social exclusion a free experience of playing sports and games where everyone set's each other up to succeed. Where everyone constantly imagines other ways. Where everyone uses mistakes to find what is next and grow. Experiences to build a belief that they are not stuck as they are now. Thank you. Contact jon.thorne@LifeSkills21.club to get a free ticket
£7.50
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Please, don't let a lack of money stop you from coming. We are a social enterprise. Or, pay more as a donation.
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SkillsofWow.org is the governing body for those who coach the skills of Wow.