Let’s stop connecting in a way that makes us less than the sum of our parts
Let's connect as a Gestalt. Let's create something greater than the sum of our parts. Let's connect for more, not less.
In the 1990s, I was tasked with pinpointing the elements of human connection that could be effectively integrated into an innovative online collaboration platform known as Lotus Notes, as well as identifying those that could not.
I classified the forms of connection into two categories: measurable and immeasurable. The measurable connections are for agreeing on a sum of parts and allocating these parts for people to play. These were moved online. The immeasurable connections could only be done face-to-face and involved creating something greater than the sum of the parts, a phenomenon known as *Gestalt*.
As the Internet and Google began to rise, I shifted to using my connection skills to assist struggling technology projects on the verge of failure.
After that, I dedicated my efforts to helping young individuals with Autism forge joyful connections. It appeared that the autistic brain recognized the presence of a Gestalt connection; they desired it and needed it, yet found it challenging to access. Teachers attempted to create pathways to a Gestalt, but the young people often interpreted these pathways as rigid parts to play within a fixed sum of the parts. As a result, the more they tried, the more they felt rejected. Consequently, I discovered how to offer an immersive experience of Gestalt. It turns out that young people with Autism can learn to connect to a Gestalt when they truly experience it.
I then spent 6 years working out how technology-based connections appear to have taken over face-to-face connections.
Technology supports measurable connections for agreeing on a sum of parts and allocating these parts for people to play.
When players are asked to commit to a plan that involves fulfilling a specific part within a collective effort, it becomes selfish not to strive for perfection. It is disrespectful to decline an opportunity to play a part in helping others achieve a shared goal. It is natural for players to concentrate solely on executing their part flawlessly. In this way, each part becomes fixed in a fixed sum of parts. In this way, measurable technology-based connection removes the immeasurable connection that can only happen face-to-face.
Inevitably, there will be moments when the fixed sum of parts stops working.
During these instances, players who are dedicated to their fixed part feel disoriented and overwhelmed, and make fundamental mistakes that are not typical of their performance. The team becomes less than the sum of the parts.
Tackling this challenge isn't about making players execute their parts more efficiently. Instead, it involves fostering connections to create something greater than the sum of the parts, a Gestalt. Players observe one another’s actions, looking for opportunities to step in to provide a previously unseen alternative just as someone's option begins to diminish. This Gestalt of connection makes players more comfortable moving into the unknown, believing they can accomplish anything together.
In both sports and life, connection holds equal importance to all other aspects combined. Mastering Gestalt is one of the essential life skills in the 21st century. However, if we neglect to continually practice Gestalt, our reliance on technology will lead us back to playing fixed parts in a fixed sum of parts. We will find ourselves becoming less than the sum of our individual contributions.
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All-ability adults
Sun 01 Feb
|Watford
We play TOTAL TEAM BASKETBALL because in this context, the skills of connection are more valuable than simply possessing the best individual skills.
Time & Location
01 Feb 2026, 18:45 – 19:45
Watford, Bushey Grove Leisure Centre, Aldenham Rd, Watford, Bushey WD23 2TD, UK
Guests
About the event
The app - It is easier to book on using our app which you can get by going to your phone's app store, search for wix.com app called Spaces. Download. And then enter this code QTKFDS
Don't let a lack of money stop you from coming. We have free tickets. Contact jon.thorne@LifeSkills21.club you don't need to explain - He will give you the code.
SkillsofWow.org is the governing body for those who coach the skills of Wow.